Excerpt from “What is Love?” by Helen Berg, p. 57-59; All rights reserved.
“Do you want to be real? Write your own life movie. Pen the words and melody to your own song, your own conflicts of heart. Don’t let romance novels, songs, T.V. dramas or even Shakespeare plays define you. Know who you are. What is the story of your life? Start to make a picture. Remember the good and bad, but then write it down the way you would have liked it to have been, and then start living your life that way. Write down how you would like your life to be now. What changes you would like to make. Frame your life in the most positive light possible. What’s missing? Do you want the love of your life? What does he or she look like? What does s/he act like? What is your perfect job? Think the thoughts you would think if you were a famous singer, composer, painter, CEO, writer; lover and/or partner. Bethe characters that you would love to play most! See the relationship you want to have, the partner you want to have. To be it, you must see it.
“Many people spend numerous hours in front of the T.V. But watching someone else’s exciting life is not going to get you there. How much more meaningful would your life be, if instead of being a silent witness to other people’s lives, you started living your own life, fully, without reservation, honestly, saying what was in your head and in your heart. What if you lived your life authentically, accepting and being who you truly are? Not letting fear, guilt or self-judgment prevent you from living your life courageously, joyously and peacefully. What if you could lovingly accepting all that was in your heart, and be able to express it? What if you could fully open up and not only be compassionate to what other’s need, but compassionate about what you need and want? What if you were willing to talk, to listen, to share the human drama however it unfolds every moment of every day, without judgment and without fear? It would be great. It isgreat. You just need to see it and do it!
“Our bodies want to live. Perhaps that is why so many seek the high of drinking and drugs, escaping the hollowness, the emptiness they feel because they are quietly watching their lives go by, and want something more. The high makes a person feel more powerful. “But the balance of nature dictates that to artificially acquire that state without having earned it creates a debt,” and the cost of such stolen pleasure is the desperation of addition. So drugs and drinking are not the solution, they only cause a greater problem.
“Interaction with other human beings is the answer. It doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as you do something and pay attention. Each interaction helps us learn. We learn what works for us, and what doesn’t. We get to know what is in our hearts and in our head. We learn when we fall down, and when we lose our reason. We look at everything, everyday with new eyes, accepting the mistakes or failure as just one more way not to do a relationship. You know what is real and good. Affirm what works for you. Affirm your values, every day, and don’t compromise what is really important. If someone can’t accept your values, move on. But don’t accept others’ values as yours. Don’t let the scripted, edited interactions of T.V. or movies guide you. Know yourself. Know your triggers and sensitivities. Find someone who is compassionate to these. People fall down, make mistakes, get up, brush themselves off, try again, fall down again, stand up again, laugh, cry, hold hands, kiss, smile, frown, weep and bounce off the walls. We’re sane, and a little bit crazy, but at the end of the day, the sun sets for all of us.
“Don’t let the illusions in books, on T.V. or in the movies guide your life. Live your own story. Give all your life to it.”
Love, health and happiness,
Helen Berg, www.helenberg.com
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