True intimacy is like a dewy flower fully realized.
What is true intimacy? It’s a knowing of the other person’s likes, wants, needs and desires. It’s a knowing of their hopes and dreams, their deepest fears, and it’s knowing who they are right now and accepting where they are at on their spiritual journey. Once you truly know someone, you are on the path to true intimacy.
True Love is a complete acceptance of every aspect of another’s being; accepting all parts, rejecting nothing, listening to the deepest parts of them, knowing where they are at, but trying to change nothing, and realizing that it is the collection of their experiences, everything they’ve heard, read, experienced, and lived that makes them who they are. When you know and accept the other person fully, that is the beginning of true intimacy. It has nothing to do with a physical act.
How do you distinguish whether making love is an extension of true intimacy or just another “high”? Ask yourself these questions: “does you partner truly know and understand you?” And, “do you really know and understand your partner?” And knowing all there is to know about the person you truly love, “do you accept every part of them?” And, “do they accept every part of you?” Acceptance is key; truly understanding with compassion is penultimate.
Since True Love has no conditions, and allows each person to fully be who they are, then each person must come to desire physical intimacy at their own pace. Generally that happens when a person feels safe. A person feels safe when they can be their true self around the other person. It also comes when a person feels powerful. True power comes with a knowing that no person, place or thing can ever shake the peaceful center within you because you know yourself, you have nurtured yourself, and you have allowed yourself to bloom into the person you truly are indifferent to the good opinions of others. Then you will be a flower, fully opened, fully realized.
True intimacy cannot be forced any more than one can force a flower to blossom. One should wait until one feels known, understood and accepted. You will know this has happened when you feel comfortable and at ease in your relationship every moment of every day–when there is regular harmony and joy. Then “making love” will be a true joining of mind, body and spirit, and there will be no reservations.
Love, Helen Berg
©Helen Berg’s Blog; http://www.helenberg.com